Scripture Reading: John 14:15-21
Yesterday my husband and I celebrated our 9th anniversary! While our years of marital bliss have not yet surpassed the single digits, each year when May 17th comes around, I feel a sense of pride and affection for who we are becoming together and how far we have come since we began this adventure. Along the way, we have learned many important lessons that have strengthened our partnership and deepened our appreciation for each other; one such example relates to communication. You would think that two fairly articulate, caring people would be able to communicate well with each other, especially when it comes to expressing feelings. What we didn't realize early on, though, is that we spoke different love languages. Figuring out how to express just how much someone means to us can be a fun exercise in creativity, but it can also be a source of stress, confusion, or flat-out miscommunication if we do not speak the same love language as our significant other. Recently this topic of love languages came up in a Bible study, and we chimed in our collective knowledge of Dr. Gary Chapman's book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. In brief, we recalled that there are five possible love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. Each of us has a primary love language that we use most often to demonstrate love for someone. For example, we may be more likely to communicate our love by giving a hug if our primary love language is physical touch. Or if it is acts of service, we may show someone we care by making them a delicious meal. This idea of each of us being oriented to expressing love in a particular way can be an eye-opener in itself, but the concept that seems really revolutionary for many relationships is that we are more likely to perceive love from someone else when it is shown to us in our love language. Many couples find that once they understand this idea, they realize how they have been "miscommunicating" their love for each other by not using their partner's primary love language to show they really do care. Our Bible study leader posed the question to us, "What if obedience is God's love language?" We all sat in stunned silence, considering this thought. Obedience is not a word that usually comes to mind when I think of modern ideas of love. It can carry negative connotations of inequality, abuse, domination, and punishment. How many of us remember times in childhood of being told to obey a parent, "or else..."? And perhaps some of us have an unhealthy relationship in our past where we were expected to obey unreasonable demands from a partner. There are many examples we could offer of instances where obedience is distasteful, or even harmful. However, I don't think this is the kind of obedience that God has in mind. "For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess." (Deuteronomy 30:16) Moses is speaking to the Israelites here at the end of their 40-year wandering in the desert on their way to the promised land. They were a chronically disobedient group of people, much like us, and Moses is giving them instructions on how to live faithfully in this new era of their life together. There is a clear connection Moses makes between obeying God and receiving life, prosperity, and blessing which I think still holds true for us today. This is not to say that we will avoid all pain and suffering by being obedient. We live in a broken world where evil exists and causes havoc in our lives, and Christians are not immune to this reality. And we must be careful not to reduce our relationship with God to a focus on wish-fulfillment, expecting wealth and good fortune because of our faith. But God promises that we will receive good things by obeying His commands. In the larger passage from Deuteronomy, a choice is offered to us to obey or not obey, and the consequences for each are laid out for our consideration. Lest we think that God is only concerned with our compliance, though, we should also consider a passage from the New Testament that explains the connection my friend noticed between obeying God, showing our love for Him, and the good gifts this will bring about in our lives. At one point in John's gospel, Jesus is talking with his disciples about what to expect after his death and resurrection, and he describes how he will send the Holy Spirit to help guide them in their lives and ministry. In order to receive this gift of the Holy Spirit, the disciples must show their love for Jesus and for God by obeying the commands Jesus has given them. As Jesus says, "If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever--the Spirit of truth... Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them." (John 14:15-17, 21) Along with connecting the ideas of obedience and love, Jesus is introducing an idea that we refer to today as the Trinity - we know God as the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit (three persons in one God). This is a very challenging concept to wrap our minds around, so for more explanation, click here. Jews in Jesus' time were familiar with God the Father, and Jesus established himself as God's Son through his life of ministry, death, and resurrection. Here Jesus is teaching the disciples about the third element of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit. As followers of Christ today, we are able to be in a close relationship with God the Father because of the sacrifice of Jesus the Son on our behalf, and we have communication and connection with God the Father and God the Son through the gift of the Holy Spirit. In this passage from John, though, Jesus makes it clear that in order to receive this gift of the Holy Spirit, we must show our love for God through obedience to his commands. This, Jesus seems to say, is God's love language, the way He will know that we love Him. How good are we at obeying God's commands? We may feel like we are showing God our love in many ways, but are we speaking His love language by obeying the commands He has given us? When I think about my own faith life and how I show my love for God, I think of the time I set aside to study scripture, my efforts to pray regularly (this one is a struggle for me!), and attending my church's worship services. I look for ways to serve others who are in need because I appreciate how God has lovingly met my needs. Personally, I also enjoy singing hymns and praise songs, and I feel like that is a way I communicate my love for God as well. These are all good things and important practices of the Christian faith, but the Jesus' words cut across all of these things and stop me in my tracks: "If you love me, keep my commands... Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me..." If obedience is God's love language, then I must ask myself: Am I obeying God's commands? This is a very tall order when I consider what all of these commands include! For a quick refresher on one major example, the Ten Commandments, click here. There are many other commandments in the Old Testament, and Jesus gives many commandments in his teachings in the New Testament. To "walk in obedience" to God is no easy task! When I look over the Ten Commandments, for instance, I notice some that I feel I am good at keeping, like verses 13 and 14 that tell us not to murder or commit adultery. Surely I can say with confidence that I have never broken these commandments, right? Well, that is where another reading this week from the gospel of Matthew makes me question just how obedient I really am. In this passage Jesus breaks down the deeper implications of these two commandments against murder and adultery: "You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. ...You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matthew 5:21-22, 27-28) Now the bar has been raised and I am no longer sure where I stand. I have not physically murdered anyone, but I have definitely been angry with many people many times. (Being impatient and short-tempered is a real struggle for me.) According to what Jesus is saying here, any time my frustration at someone has erupted verbally or even in my heart, I have become a murderer. Likewise, any time I have admired anyone physically other than my husband (which is hard to completely avoid in our media and entertainment culture today), I have committed adultery. If I am being honest, I am guilty as charged. I know these commandments are given for our good, and I want to keep them to show my love for God and receive God's blessing. But who could possibly live up to such standards? No one. In fact, it is impossible for any of us because as humans we are imperfect, flawed and fallible. We will inevitably fall short of all these expectations and fail to keep God's commands. Where does that leave us then? What hope do we have of expressing our love for God through obedience if we will always at some point disobey? How will we receive the gift of the Holy Spirit so that we may have a long life in the Promised Land? How will our broken love and unfaithfulness be restored? Through Jesus. If we confess our shortcomings, seek forgiveness, and ask for another chance in the name of God's Son Jesus and his sacrifice, it will be given to us. So we pray with the psalmist: "Blessed are those whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the Lord. Blessed are those who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart-- they do no wrong but follow his ways. You have laid down precepts that are to be fully obeyed. Oh, that my ways were steadfast in obeying your decrees! Then I would not be put to shame when I consider all your commands. I will praise you with an upright heart as I learn your righteous laws. I will obey your decrees; do not utterly forsake me." (Psalm 119:1-8) There are many commandments named in the Bible. As followers of Christ we are expected to obey them to show our love for God and receive the blessings He has to offer us in this life and for eternity. We cannot do this on our own, though, and God offers us help and a way to overcome our failures through His Son Jesus and the gift of the Holy Spirit. Praise be to God who we obey out of love and who never forsakes us. Amen. What are your primary love languages? How are you at speaking God's "love language" of obedience? Does it change your attitude toward God's commandments to think about keeping them as an act of love? Which commandments do you struggle with the most? I'd love to hear your thoughts! Feel free to share them here or on the Contact page.
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AuthorRachel is a wife, mom, and follower of Christ. She is active in lay leadership in the United Methodist Church. Archives
October 2017
Categories© Rachel Yochum and Bible Bridge Ministry, 2017. All rights reserved.
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